The Everlasting Piss
-DIARY ENTRY ABOUT PISS. PISS STAINS ARE ALL OVER THE PAPER. YEAH. YOU NEEDED TO KNOW THAT-
10th June, 2004
This is a diary about my toilet business. I'll describe each time I piss and describe it in full detail.
Don't question it.
But today, I had a piss which was nice. Which is good.
I also sharted the hell out of myself. It felt as if a chainsaw was ripping out my asshole.
So yeah.
11th June, 2004
Had a log today, felt quite nice although there were some bits of corn in it. I also had 2 pisses today, one hurt and one was like a laser cannon. Really. It was so fast it reflected off the toilet basin and went everywhere.
12th June, 2004
OK, UMM WHAT THE HELL?! So I was having a piss, and it just kept going and going...
And going...
And on and on and on...
So I was there for a full 2 minutes when I finally realised that it was endless. I though to myself,
"Hmm, what if I try clogging up my-"
And then the piss started to burn.
I desperately tried to cover the end of "it" with toilet paper, but the piss had so much pressure in it that it completely dissolved my toilet paper.
So I was sat there, just pissing about (BA DUM TSSS) for what must of been 15 minutes, and then I noticed.
A liquid was tickling my behind.
I can't believe I never noticed it before.
The toilet was overflowing with piss!
I tried flushing it, but that only overflowed it even more.
I couldn't stay here! So I pissed in the bath.
I didn't realise but the bathplug was in, so I just made myself a bath of piss pretty much. Then that started overflowing too. The piss was up to my ankles now and I had no where else to piss.
So I had to leave the room. Now the piss got all over the hallway.
I sprinted downstairs and into my garden.
I dug a little hole for me to piss in, but then my worst fear became a reality.
I heard gasps all around me and children crying.
Oh dear. The neighbours were watching. I ran around the town, butt naked while still pissing this everlasting piss.
It was like TEH DAY OF ALL TEH BLOD, but TEH DAY OF ALL TEH PISS.
The police were chasing me, and they caught me. Apparently I was jailed for running naked in public. They put handcuffs on me and put some duct tape around the end of my --- so I would stop pissing.
All the piss built up inside of me, then I exploded then died.
But the explosion was rather odd.
Instead of blood exploding everywhere, PISS exploded everywhere. And also a skeleton popped out of the explosion.
BUT WHO WAS TOILET?